this is what yu did...

2012-01-31T21:25:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired
so frustrated
so worried
and abit depressed
but I'm not gonna complain in front of anyone
I'm gonna learn how to hold my negative feelings
hide them and swallow them
this is how an adult should act like

right?

•

.

2012-01-08T19:44:00.002+08:00

you are desperate not because you are too eager to be with someone new and fresh
but because you are too eager to get over the old one

and the irony is..
you dont even care how many boys/ girls fancy you or wanna go on a date with you
but how many boys/ girls you fancy and you can put your heart into.

yet. there's none.

●

the first day of the end of world year.

2012-01-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

new year resolutions:

get rid of mountains of clothes, and

be in love again.

it's gonna be awesome!

•

The dark covers me and I cannot run now.

2011-12-17T23:20:00.003+08:00

有地方容納我嗎？

I stay up, clean the house, at least I'm not drinking

Run around just so I don't have to think about thinking

That silent sense of content that everyone gets

Just disappears soon as the sun sets

If I was my heart I'd rather be restless

Second I stop the sleep catches up and I'm breathless

As this ache in my chest, as my day is done now

The dark covers me and I cannot run now

我有這麼討厭嗎？

kingai.

2011-12-14T23:56:00.000+08:00

I realised
I am so alone
when I need someone to talk to
there's no one
it's not that they are not available
it's the fact that I don't really have any people that I wanna find

in fact, I don't think I have anyone.

•

夢還沒有完願還沒有圓。

2011-11-07T23:29:00.003+08:00

一生為淚而來
我為的是我的心。

我現在捨不得
: 我知道

我們會再見面嗎？
: 要分開了才能再見面

那麼我們再見面的時候會分開嗎？
: 還會

既然還能見面為什麼還要分開？
: 因為這樣我才能掛念你

-

你的心裡只有我嗎？
: 不你就是我的心

等會痛嗎？
: 一點點

2011-10-07T03:57:00.001+08:00

really tiredgetting sickwent to bed at 330and can't sleepRAHHHHscrew you!•

dontsaytheword.

2011-10-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

it still triggers me.everytime I try to say it out to myself but everytime I fail.it was the worst nightmare of my life. ever.it's like it has been hot stamped onto my heart forever.it's not that I don't wanna move onit's you wouldn't let me.why wouldn't it pass? why are u still around?i need a solution. but who can I talk to?my heart's pumping so hard.I am so scared. so. scared.

•

happybirthdaytome.

2011-08-24T23:23:00.003+08:00

they can't stop falling.
thanks for giving me a happy birthday.

•

Bahh

2011-08-16T00:13:00.002+08:00

Pride too high
Ego too low

black sheep can't find herself.

•

2011-08-09T01:44:00.002+08:00

sometimes
I just want someone to tell me
"you can do it"

even it's not true.

•

and so it is.

2011-07-30T01:17:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to love
It makes me look like a fool
It makes me tired
It makes me seem selfish and arrogant
It makes me dislike myself more and more
It makes me hate

what's the point of it?
I don't get it

I'm comfortable with myself
Why can't I just be myself?
Why can't I work hard, earn money, and pay myself a good dinner?

Convince me
I feel so frustrated with this status of me
I wanna love
but I don't know how
:(

I don't more victims from me

●

If not now. When?

2011-07-25T15:08:00.000+08:00

怎麼你我身邊擦過　
不敢訴說這年是怎樣過　明知失去讓我瘋狂
回望已是痛心的感覺　才後悔在這天撐不過

什麼　才明白相愛?

it'snothelping.

2011-07-16T00:27:00.000+08:00

since when working hard is a problem?
why does everyone complain
why does everyone like to give me more shits?
don't give me shit ass reasons of showing love and care
JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
STOP SAYING YOU CARE BECAUSE YOU AREN'T!

fucking shit.

don't underestimate me
just. don't.

●

I'm ok.

2011-07-03T15:44:00.000+08:00

好辛苦
好唔開心
有邊個知？

啱啦就係唔想有人知

•

be it

2011-06-28T23:49:00.002+08:00

draw me a straight line

2011-06-19T03:00:00.000+08:00

don't like to be traced
don't like to be known
don't like to be looked at
but alone.

I hate myself being strange
I go around hurting people
I play games
and I am emotional

and my mind is blank.

•

2011-06-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

是因為成長了？
是因為屬性？
是因為對手？
還是...
因為傷透了？

難度沒練習太耐
感覺都追不回來
試圖再努力愛
也顯得不自在

好自為知

•

WTF

2011-05-30T23:30:00.002+08:00

seriously
stop it

i need a new life.
what's wrong all these people in this crazy world?

●

was.

2011-05-26T22:59:00.003+08:00

suddenly thought of something
suddenly mindlessly looked for old photos
my heart turned sour
very very very sour
i can't even put a word to it
and i think i found an answer

: we haven't had one proper photo taken
i mean just us
i mean, not even one
ever.

and i have been spending so much time to forget
something, that didn't really happen.

hilarious.

●

$

2011-05-22T16:32:00.001+08:00

why is it so easy for some people?
why is it so hard for me?
why do I have to work my life out of a calculator for hours but still can't find a way?

I am so ashamed with myself. I can't even tell anyone.

:(

I have to be rich, so I don't have to think before I do.
fuck you world.

●

cannonball.

2011-05-20T12:11:00.000+08:00

There’s still a little bit of your song in my ear
There’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can´t see what´s going on

Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to cry
So come on courage, teach me to be shy
'Cause its not hard to fall,
And I don't want to scare her
Its not hard to fall
And i don't want to lose
Its not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know

seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.

2011-05-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

I admit
I am avoiding everything that deals with love
because, I don't believe in it at all
why waste time chasing after something you know it's gonna have a shit ending?

it's out of your control so why stick your head into it and drown yourself?
and make yourself look like an idiot...

•

重滔覆轍

2011-05-08T20:03:00.001+08:00

i am a loser.

●

若無其事原來是最狠的報復

2011-05-04T23:57:00.004+08:00

is this what i want?
i am so lost and i am still overly overwhelmed
然後呢?

:(

●

2011-04-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

fuck i miss you
fuck.
this is so gay.

●

2011-04-03T04:28:00.000+08:00

I can't stop crying

help
HELP

往事沒言語在皮下呼吸

2011-03-24T23:45:00.001+08:00

stranger under my skin

I love this line.
this stranger is so close to being on my skin
almost.

Damages are done and hidden within
Those were the things that were hidden under my skin

•

big big girl

2011-02-27T15:02:00.002+08:00

嬤嬤笑笑口咁話佢都大個女喇
又要為食唔肯瞓要我特登去買餅
你話點就點啦最緊要你高興 :)

side.
5 years
what really happened?

•

2011-02-24T22:22:00.002+08:00

I hate this world
I hate everything that happens around me
I hate myself
I wanna scream and run to u
I hate myself more

•

2011-02-09T14:44:00.000+08:00

公公走了
好唔開心

真係好唔開心

:(

2011-02-03T04:37:00.002+08:00

yesterday
i saw her
she was standing right beside me
i felt ashamed
and heart-ached
memories from the nightmare surged like tsunami
why did that have to happen to me?

●

2011-01-23T01:19:00.000+08:00

i am so unhappy
but i have no one to talk to
i am so alone
no one treasures me
no one cares about me
i am so alone
so alone
.

:(

skyisblue.

2011-01-20T01:21:00.004+08:00

i wanna hide
no reason.

●

2011-01-16T13:24:00.001+08:00

昨晚的話在腦內揮之不去。
:(

如果記掛回去好嗎？

我應該信什麼? 眼前看到的還是耳邊聽到的?
:(:(

resolution.

2011-01-03T00:55:00.005+08:00

got an anonymous call this afternoon
the line went dead before i picked up the call
so many people popped up in my mind
so many speech bubbles
so many flashes
but the conclusion is,
there is only one person i want the call to be
if god really blesses me
if it's meant to be
i just want an answer
/or maybe i shouldn't
coz i know, it wasn't you
it won't be you
it will never be you

冇擇錯過就算擇啱咗都變得冇意義
all this time
i decided not to choose
maybe one of the reasons is because i dont want to admit that i was wrong
but i know i was
i dont wanna admit
just leave me alone

new year resolution?
find the right one.

●

silentalltheseyears.

2010-12-27T02:17:00.003+08:00

to most of the people you are a good person
I trusted you so much and we ended with a lie.
I decided not to trust anyone from now on.
I chose to be like this to avoid getting hurt again.
it's just a way of survival.

●

我永遠最愛同一次。

2010-12-24T00:13:00.001+08:00

原來令我真正痛心的
是某時某刻的一個夕陽

●

阿怪。

2010-12-13T01:55:00.001+08:00

我是一個很容易被觸動情緒的人
很不想認輸但自己很不爭氣常常做錯事常常被否定
幸好我是一個記性不好的人
倒運的事過了一陣子就變得霧糊
細節記不起了
相反那些負面情緒還留住
所以當朋友問我幹嗎縐著眉我也說不出原因來
整件事情變得不明不白地耿耿於懷
天啊我是怎麼的一個怪人啊？！
真的很討厭自己:(

等等我這了幸好嗎？

•

i wanna get my helmet back.

2010-11-30T09:40:00.003+08:00

back to being a helmet
somehow i like it very much
maybe because it makes me feel safe

just as i was typing helmet in chinese to the google search box
there's a line popped up
:「又要威，又要戴頭盔」
ha.
referring to me?
even google is being sarcastic to me
dammit.

●

2010-11-27T01:20:00.004+08:00

hb

let's celebrate with coke.
and alcohol.

•

2010-11-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

"戒唔難最難就係一世都唔可以再食。"

•

time didnt prove anything.

2010-11-15T20:32:00.003+08:00

I wanna go back in love. but I'm really really scared. yes I'm a loser. why. why are u still here? :( why is it so hard? what should I do. I have given up so much but since then till now I got nothing. tell me I am just out of luck. tell me I will find someone better...

either way it's too late
too late for regrets, I'm hurt
leave me out of love
leave love out, leave me out

hey, let's just pretend
nothing ever happened
nothing nothing never ever happened

•

2010-11-08T20:46:00.001+08:00

i know i would be cursed for saying stuff like this
but i don't fucking care now
because I REALLY HATE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!
shut up and leave me alone.

•

2010-10-29T12:44:00.001+08:00

Talking to the Moon
Try to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

it's probably a mistake. again.
I don't know what I am doing.
pretending I'm enjoying this world of chaos.
please make me drunk. or drag me.
so I don't have to see this filfy world and the fucking politicians clearly.

•

2010-10-22T02:16:00.001+08:00

ref. from http://www.manuelrebollo.blogspot.com/

girl's 6th sense is always correct.
always.
moodless.tasteless.wasteofthoughts.
why did i even give myself hope?!

●

givemealittlehint.

2010-10-17T00:48:00.001+08:00

這條路為甚要這麼崎嶇?

•

2010-09-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

其實只差一個心理關口。

●

falling. hanging.

2010-09-09T01:39:00.003+08:00

stupid question
slow reaction
stuck
blamed
execute
learn
learn
learn
step up

calm.

看似這麼樂觀
壓力大得天崩地裂
我不是推卸責任
我不是明知故問
但是我真的不懂
我很怕
我不想出錯
我不懂表達
我不懂修飾

在撐住
因為要面子

在撐住
因為還未累到可以抱頭大睡

在撐住
因為正負能量正打得興起

●

shadow.

2010-08-05T23:02:00.004+08:00

愈真實令我愈害怕
愈接近令我愈想逃

我設法去擺脫身後的影子
筋皮力盡了
走也沒處好走
回頭看

原來這影子不是自己的...

i still miss you alot no matter what happens around me
but i know you don't really care anymore

●

i am.

2010-07-21T00:12:00.014+08:00

I am timid
And I am oversensitive
I am a lioness
I am tired and defensive
You take me in your arms
And I fold into you
I have insecurities
You show me I am beautiful

Love me or leave me just take it or leave it
It's not that I'm needy just need you to see me
Take me, free me, see through to the core of me
Take me, free me, there will be no more pretending

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
I am unpredictable
I am naked
I am vulnerable
I am a woman
I am opening up to you

Now I stand before you with my heart in my hands
I'm asking you to take me just the way that I am

Please lay down your arms
Do you know me?
Make me feel safe from harm

I am temperamental
And I have imperfections
And I am emotional
There'll be no more pretending

but after all, it's gonna be a story with just the beginning.
August please don't come.

whereonearth.

2010-07-10T01:21:00.001+08:00

is there a place for me to hide?
please.

:'(

why all these?
why keep pushing and pushing and pushing?
why make me listen
why make me decide

when everyone's gonna end up liars and dickheads
why bother?

●

my mind is in such chaos.

2010-07-03T05:09:00.001+08:00

2010-06-21T01:05:00.005+08:00

i am not going to say anything.

●

"我今日有咩唔同?"

2010-06-17T01:04:00.002+08:00

.
.
.
.
.
.
我分不開
. .

selfish ape doesn't need too many friends.

2010-06-09T23:02:00.005+08:00

i have to say.
i really dont like being bothered by someone i have no interests in.
excuse me if offended.
just dont like to be asked, told, found all the time.
stay away thank you very much.

●

.qi.ji.

2010-05-31T16:32:00.003+08:00

這世上，有沒有奇蹟的存在？

奇蹟是人造？還是天賜？
奇蹟是你心裡誠心默默念就會出現？
還是一輩子都等不了？
或是要你在放棄了的時候它諷刺地出現？
奇蹟是安慰，希望，還是只是個笑話，愚蠢的想法？
奇蹟會發人心醒，還是令人執迷不悔？
聰明能幹的人是不是大多都不相信奇蹟？
什麼才算是奇蹟？
到底是奇“蹟”，或是奇“跡”？

心結能解開的一天，是不是就是奇蹟出現的時候？

i wrote this not because of today
今天不是奇蹟
is me who did the work
stop 對號入座 suckers!

on the other hand. i am waiting for another... qi ji

●

Sretsis♥

2010-05-26T00:04:00.001+08:00

Sretsis' A/W 10-11 collection 'Stolen Moments' by Bangkok-based label Sretsis, inspired by figurines.
check out their official site http://www.sretsis.com/ for more cool apparels & accessories.

鄭麗嫦 vs Jimmy仔

2010-05-23T16:44:00.002+08:00

"做乜唔出聲呀收唔到呀? 仆街"

iwannascream.

2010-05-22T02:36:00.002+08:00

多少人值得等
等一個值得我認真
認真了沒有恨
恨不了愛過的靈魂

塞翁失馬焉知非福
懂了追尋的幸福
得到了什麼現在又再痛苦什麼
好與壞...

:'(

MONSTER.

2010-05-18T16:58:00.003+08:00

you got away with it
'cause no one knows exactly what you did
except me.

panicking?
don't worry. continue with your good life.
and i will go on with mine bearing your secrets along.

●

2010-05-14T02:45:00.001+08:00

have you realised?

●

spotted.

2010-05-03T22:16:00.002+08:00

i was gonna put sammi's words here coz i think its really meaningful
but after what happened a couple of days ago i doubt again
i want to trust people
but the littlest things that people do make me hesitate
the littlest things
which can already tell the full story
i dont neglect details
i never do
that's my nature
i can't help it

●

還怎能無償地拼命愛別人。

2010-04-21T16:35:00.004+08:00

不再相信天使　卻信凝望你時
本性難移　凡心會動過不已
只要戀愛幾次　誰還能像幼兒
不會懷疑　無知到像個天使若插翼難展翅　
情願因你脫下純白羽衣
戀愛難　不想更難　苦戀那時　不得已

慢慢地學會痛心　慢慢地學會化身普通人　
還怎能　無償地　拼命愛別人
慢慢地習慣碎心　慢慢地明暸情感的陰暗　
才可跟你　走得更近

怎給你這天使之吻

天國跟我很遠　情人留在眼前
不會團圓　迷戀也有褔　不敢抱怨
不會視而不見　純真總被歲月去污染
反正　誰都會有這一天

慢慢地學會痛心　慢慢地學會化身普通人　
還怎能　無邪地　撲入那風塵
慢慢地習慣碎心　慢慢地墮進無底的深吻　
比登上仙境更吸引

this song sucked my soul
again.

不受歡迎。

2010-04-20T01:54:00.006+08:00

我知道我不被這圈子歡迎
而我亦已經放棄去競逐你們的體諒和認同
道不同不相為謀
曾几何時我因為你們哭
曾几何時我因為你們生活過得很不堪
雖然我到現在仍覺得所有事都很莫明奇妙
心裡不多不少都長了根刺
仿如一根絲牽引著拾荒之路　
或許當我再與你們相遇的時候還是會不知所措
但奈何我已沒氣力去將事情歸根咎底
誤會沒法弄得清
也已是事實
反正大家已往各路走
世界這麼大
天要我們踫到也只能怨路太窄

當大家再見的時候
假
在所難免
只希望我演技和心地都比你們好

畢業快樂。

●

外面的世界。

2010-04-18T00:57:00.011+08:00

i wish i can just make money.shop.&die alone.
have the coldest mind.

but my heart won't let me rest.

●

love this song.
esp this version of karenmok

在很久很久以前
你擁有我　我擁有你
在很久很久以前
你離開我　去遠空翱翔

外面的世界很精彩
外面的世界很無奈
當你覺得外面的世界很精彩
我會在這裡衷心的祝福你

每當夕陽西沉的時候
我總是在這裡盼望你
天空中雖然飄著雨
我依然　等待你的歸期
外面的世界很精彩
外面的世界很無奈
當你覺得外面的世界很無奈
我還在這裡耐心的等著你

nothing's fair.

2010-04-14T22:07:00.004+08:00

love hurts

love kills

love hates

love itches

love fades

love aches

love frustrates

love greeds

love leaves

love bites

so effing hard :(

●

13.4 doesnt seem like a good day.

2010-04-13T14:49:00.000+08:00

one with love problems
one with health problems
me
lots of problems
but mainly work/ future wise

i failed.

disappointed
but actually gained alot

let go and keep going
everything seems so hard
but no one can earn an easy life without hardworking
easy life doesnt mean money, materials, assets
but also health and love

but first of all
: faith.

priority. challenge. accept. learn. timing.

just to make sure
i m still good.

●

exhausted. but life goes on.

2010-04-13T01:46:00.008+08:00

muscle aches
ouch.

preparing for tmr's big day.
figercroxx.

●

brain cells are killed.
that's it for today.

●

it feels like that empty chair.

2010-04-08T13:51:00.005+08:00

update

weather's cleared now.
yes i m a no doubt a 犯賤 person
so what

●

i wouldn't need you.

2010-04-08T01:40:00.003+08:00

i wanna write but i m too tired
feel like putting the title as a song name anyway
i wouldn't need you - norahjones.

If I could replace
the things you gave me
If I could see my face
without the tragedy

Then I wouldn't need you
I wouldn't need you
No, I wouldn't need you
to love me

goodnight
talk later

●

i ♥ dadi, mami & little dog.

2010-04-07T01:20:00.006+08:00

i will try to write more from now on
i haven't gone out much these days
but even my life has been more quiet
there's still things worth blogging
and i like expressing it in blogs
i dont need you to feel me
i dont need anyone to read
this is just my private corner
but it's opened for you to share

thats why this blog is headed with
: i don't have to show, but i dont want to hide.

had a pretty long talk with a friend
actually it was in helping her with her paper
but i am more happy to do it
i shared alot about my experiences and changes in life since i came back from sydney
we talked mainly about family
and throughout the talk i've realised alot
realised i should put more time in family
realised i've grown
realised i shouldn't take everything for granted
before i feared so much with needing to face my parents in a new environment
afraid we would end up fighting everyday coz we have too much conflicts in life
but it didnt turn out as bad as i thought
and now i am putting more effort and cherishing more
i am glad to be with my family again
esp now when dadi is back and the 3 of us can reunite again
nothing feels safer and happier than having a loving parents
and i know not everyone have the opportunity to be with family all the time
or they dont even have a complete family
that's why i dont dare to lose it
when i was a few years younger i had my rebellious period
i always try so hard to prove something to my parents and force myself to be independent
but now i know being independent doesn't mean isolating yourself and live on your own
as age keeps growing, responsibility and duty are graduately taken into the next level
i am always an important part in the family but now i've also taken an important role in being a mature adult to help decision making and take care of the family

have i really grown?
i challenge myself again
of coz i still have alot to learn
from the society
from people
from life
i m not as frighten as before
i still have dreams
and i am going to turning them into tangible assets

●

一秒感動也可以忘掉舊刺痛

2010-04-06T01:41:00.005+08:00

life can be busy as hell
noisy as hell
crowd as hell
messed up as hell

but sometimes i could really feel the tint of warmth in life
and that's enough to keep me from hell and doctors

had hotpot with my 98-year-old grandpa
his greeting smile seems more passionate than before
looked like he's very excited about having hot pot
he ate more than usual and also kept making me eat
he still treats me as a baby girl
like grandma, also tells me to avoid strangers and go home early

though i was having a really bad headache at that moment
but the warm from an old papa really could make me put everything down just for a while
i love to see grandpa smile
really kind and gentle
i love him
i wish him well and happy

got back home
my little dog jumped and slicked and ran and crawl
she was so aggressive over food when i fed her
all she wants is love and physical satisfaction
a little dog can just be that simple
envy.

i envy over a dog
it's not a sarcasm
the more i think
i would rather keep a dog for life
just think that human always brings trouble and meaningless gossips
nothing else
which irritates me

●

a thousand reasons why.

2010-04-05T02:39:00.002+08:00

I wanted to put a faye wong's song

but tonight is in the mood of angus & julia stone

light&blue.

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth

You're the only one that wants me around

And I can think of a thousand reasons why

I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you and I

Light me up a cigarette and put it in my mouth

You're the only one that wants me to die

And I can think of a thousand reasons why

I don't believe in you, I don't believe in you

有超能膠嗎？

2010-03-31T11:47:00.008+08:00

得到的　越看越化　幸運光景都只是借的
其實壓力真可以比天更高　心鬆點也好

it's funny how life can turn out to be huh?

be who you wanna be..

do what you wanna do..

sounds so easy

but we always get caught in between

stuck.

一個晚上聽了幾番差不多的問題

而答案都是一樣

我還是沒法子改變心意吧

我就是那麼堅持

不

或者'固執'比較合意

其實在固執著什麼？

明知這碎了的心只是用廉價膠紙粘著

就連站起來都差些再跌下去

還有固執的力氣嗎？

若無其事是唯一的出路

只要不踫它就安全了吧

它厭了倦了

要讓它休息了

它只能承受新世界

朋友

我不需要你們體諒我的雨天

我只希望它能平靜的躲

謝大家讓我躲我想我真的會快樂起來的 :)
我已經太知道　心要靜　才好

●

笑口早:)

2010-03-25T11:43:00.006+08:00

i have to write a blog coz i m too happy

ok i shall take it slowly..
first of all, i have been all grumpy in the morning coz i haven't been sleeping much and well because i've been working (re-working) on my portfolio. and i was very sick the day before, so i should get more rest and because of this, i got scolded my mum this morning. yea, normal thing, but still bugs me. and back to last night, i didnt sleep well coz its like typhoon outside, so windy and the dj on radio couldnt stop mentioning about the strong wind and which made me even more mad. and because of the sudden drop of weather, i decided to wear my super comfy and warm thick hot pink scarf to work, and i dont know why people keep staring as if they dont know what hot pink looks like. just hate stares so much that i wanna cut their eye balls out!

so that was before i got to work.

ok i got to work, late. with my head full of F and Ss. and my colleague mentioned about eason and nicolas tse, and thats when i started to get excited. its just so happy to recall the night at eason's concert coz it was like paradise.

right. here's the main part. i was back to my seat and i suddenly got a call with a mobile number which i haven't seen before. i picked up. it was a english man voice, and not until he mentioned his name i knew it was tracey, which is the director of an interior design firm that i've got interviewed with and got rejected coz i m not capable of being a "true" interior designer. in his conversation he mentioned about an industrial design related job opportunity to me and told me i could contact this person for further information. and i was stone surprised at the spot! i couldnt believe an interior design director interviewed me, patiently talked to me about his work for 1.5 hour (which i think it was a waste of time of his) when i am not even related to interior design whatsoever. after a few days, called me up and tell me there's a great job opportunity.

he sent me emails (to both my work and personal email, effort man, effort.) not long after the call. i checked out the web site of that industrial design company, which is not bad at all. this is the kind of company that i have been looking for! and this is what i call "company", not just an up dup no taste design firm.

i couldnt exactly express my feelings about this. i am just too happy. very touched, surprised and loved.
thank you! THANK YOU. i wanna give u a hug coz u feel like a dad :D

Let's start from here.

2010-03-24T10:39:00.003+08:00

Giving up, why should I

I've come to far to forget
We're beautiful, we just got lost

Somewhere along the way
So much was missing when you went away
Let's start from here, lose the past
Change our minds, we don′t need a finish line
Let's take this chance don’t think too deep
Of all those promises we couldn′t seem to keep
I don't care where we go
Let's start from here

- Joanna Wang

a beautiful, beautiful song.

+

2010-03-22T16:48:00.004+08:00

i feel good recently
besides the eason concert which made me so pumped up
i guess having have a healthier lifestyle with mum's great cooking and magical soup
read books sleep early eat regularly shit smoothly
plus less, or even none rumors and gossips around me made my life much much simpler, easier, lighter
mon-fri make money, after work happy hours, satuaday chill out, sunday relax
great use of time
so far so good
anticipating my vacation in easter and graduation trip

stepping out to the society
nervous, frightening, anxious, confused
but i've been learning alot
like today
met 黑珍珠, a tall black guy （it's actually his name, and english name named tracey, funny nice guy)
learnt alot from him
now i know having a design based degree doesn't mean you can do anything about design
understand what you wanna achieve
think carefully, act seriously.

蛹。

2010-03-16T00:12:00.001+08:00

答案即將揭曉

還是選擇了以一貫作風
which is, 自己一個去解決事情
我知道您們會想罵我"做乜又收埋自己!!"
我沒有
只是自己解決會明白更多
由其像我這樣執迷不悔的人

nevertheless, 一定要感謝我的女子組
同時請原來我近來十分懶惰去打電話或者上線
一來工作佔了很多時間工作以外的事亦多
二來很多時有種無力感 means不想發表找不到開囗的理由
但你們的一個電話/sms/fb msg/ fb comment...
一個簡單到即使只有兩個字的問候
也比看心理醫生更有效

感激有人關心我的存在
您們是最好的。

wait&see my dear friends
i am becoming a happier and braver person.

share.

2010-03-12T16:44:00.000+08:00

http://julianlouie.com

notagame.

2010-03-10T23:40:00.002+08:00

要是這樣勉強就不用麻煩了。

catch me if you can.

擁抱這分鐘。

2010-03-09T18:32:00.007+08:00

仲記得當時我講嘅一句：我要記住呢一秒
有人問：你真係記得住？
結果我真係記到而家
呢句說話好似一個詛咒咁
令我應記嘅記唔到
唔應記嘅反去記
執著令人冇記性
死未。

來佔據了這晚星空

捉緊一剎那的認同

如夢的將來

儘管一點不懂

點呀而家唔懂都要懂啦
f。

2010-02-21T21:50:00.001+08:00

i rehearsed, i tried to say it out loud, but realised i m still not ready.

anticipating iphone4G.

2010-02-17T11:55:00.001+08:00

the ichat camera, true GPS and removable battery sounds cool
and other rumors say there will be 5mega pixels camera

so i don't cry.

2010-02-15T02:13:00.004+08:00

i just need someone to cry with me right now
but there's no one.

老虎仔快樂:)

2010-02-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

i just feel like writing here,
and i think the best words to say for now is
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
have a great year of tiger ♥

青春無悔?

2010-02-07T15:57:00.006+08:00

i think i am sick.
i have serious problems.
i realised when i couldn't stop crying last night
i don't really know what happened inside me.
what was i thinking?

-
i am so sorry for what i did
i don't know how to put it in words and say it out loud
i am so scared
please forgive what i've done
i am truely sorry

-
i just dont think i deserve all these
what should i do?
go see a doctor?

全部統統不說　全部偏偏知道

never say goodbye.

a letter to steve jobs.

2010-01-30T15:20:00.057+08:00

Dear Mr. Jobs,

I am writing regarding ipad and I would like to put forward some personal comments to it. I have to say, ipad sucks! so damn much. I just watch the "Jobs unveils ipad" video, it was a pretty damn success "show", you've succeeded in unveiling the good things about ipad and the how it's' really not much different to an iphone/ipod touch. You said, "it's so much more intimate than a laptop, and it's so much more capable than a smartphone with this gorgeous large display." which in the other hand, it means a gadget that's much more dumber than a laptop and much more larger and heavier than a smartphone. If it has 90% of the iphone/ipod touch functions why don't I just get the iphone? you can call with iphone, use iphone as an mp3, you can easily stalk people with iphone with the advantages of being a camera phone, you can browse webs with iphone. i know iphone has its problem like not able to multi-taking and don't support flash, and ipad seems... oh wait, ipad can't do that too! it's like a person's brain that can't multi-task = stupid, this time its an assume-to-be laptop-like device that can't multitask?! which damn asses' brain's in it?! and it doesnt' even have a camera, i mean, it can at least have one in the front so i can ichat with my friend when i'm in hk so i can show them how hk's like/ what i am doing in hk, it would be so cool if i can bring along this and ichat with my friend while i'm doing my shopping and wanna ask my friends for opinions! oops, ipad has no eyes... it's a handicap.

true that it comes with more memories, that means the more stuff you can save in it, right? and that means the higher risk of losing important stuff in it, if unluckily it got stolen or broken (which i know there's so many tech problems with the apple products once the customers has been started using it, like cracking, dead spots, you call it... and it's happening to my macbookpro and i would have to pay $7000hkd to fix the screen and touchpad. wtf?! Mr.Jobs can you please explain these kinds of nonsenses?)

and the fact that it costs $29.95 over the seems-like-a-bargain ipad for the AT&T plan, the freaking bad telecom (heard from rumors) for downloading data...
this is just
SO
NOT
A
BARGAIN.

The reason that I will not get the ipad or still haven't got an iphone/ipod touch is because they haven't impressed me enough, in fact, it keeps disappointing me. The weight and camera quality of iphone and ipod touch without camera just really bugs me. I was gonna get the iphone but now i decided to hold onto it again, and I rather keep using my sucky phone in the mean time (at least the suckiness worth every penny). I am anticipating a brand new "supersmartphone" or an evolved ipod touch from apple. It would be the best if apple can have them out by the end of this year. Good Luck Mr. Jobs! There's many people look upon you and we still believe you have the ability to satisfy all the perfectionists there.

All the best!

Yours Sincerely,
Lesley

真的不是。

2010-01-30T03:31:00.001+08:00

是有過幾個不錯對象說起來並不寂寞孤單

可能我浪蕩讓人家不安才會結果都陣亡

我沒有什麼陰影魔障妳千萬不要放在心上

我又不脆弱何況那算什麼傷

反正愛情不就都這樣

我沒有說謊我何必說謊

妳懂我的我對妳從來就不會假裝

我哪有說謊

請別以為妳有多難忘笑是真的不是我逞強

我沒有說謊我何必說謊

愛一個人沒愛到難道就會怎麼樣

別說我說謊

人生已經如此的艱難有些事情就不要拆穿

我的心事請妳就遺忘

20.

2010-01-28T14:48:00.006+08:00

二十歲的愛情
二十歲，是一個女孩剛剛明白了什麼叫“喜歡”，什麼叫“愛”的時候。
二十歲，是一個女孩最青春美麗的時候。
二十歲，是一個女孩對愛情最真誠，執著的時候。

女孩，如果你在二十歲的時候愛上了一個男孩。
那麼，請你銘記他的臉，因為你可能需要用一輩子去忘記這張臉。

二十歲的你，不會明白什麼叫作門當戶對。
二十歲的你，不會想到什麼是“潛力股”。
二十歲的你，不會覺得麵包比玫瑰浪漫。
如果說，每個人都有作夢的年齡。
那麼，每個二十歲的女孩在自己的夢中都是幸福的公主，有深愛的王子和幸福的生活。

女孩，如果你在二十歲愛上了一個男孩。
那你必定會用盡全身力氣去愛他，哪怕只換來半生回憶。

二十歲的你，愛上他，絕不是愛他的物質實力，因為你還不懂什麼叫現實。
二十歲的你，愛上他，就是愛他這個人，毫無雜質，單純而完美的愛情。
二十歲的你，愛上他，你是在用自己最美好的青春歲月去換一個和他的未來。
二十歲的你，愛上他，必是用盡了全身的力氣，不顧一切的去愛。

女孩，請銘記你二十歲愛上的那個他。
你註定今生都無法忘記他。

你把一生最美好的時光用來愛他。
你把一生最單純的愛獻給了他。
你用自己最美麗的歲月來陪伴他。
你不顧一切的去愛他。

女孩，請銘記你二十歲愛上的那個人。
因為他一定是你真正愛的人。
以後的歲月，你會明白，你很難再去單純的愛上一個“人”。

copied from xanga

i really miss it :'(

i need a painkiller that WORKS.

2010-01-18T00:07:00.002+08:00

i thought i found an effective painkiller
it wasn't exactly the same one that i had, it's just similar
but it's good enough to do the job

i just started using it since less than a couple of weeks ago
then i realised, this painkiller manufacturer is closing down.
this is just, great.

now the pain is worse than before. (you know the feeling when painkiller stops working the pain seems more hurtful than before)

and now i am here in the middle of nowhere. in this hole where i am out of reach from medications, from healing. a month seems too far away.
i can't stand the pain.

this, is not a rehabilitation for me,
send me back.

arrrgh.

2010-01-09T07:45:00.000+08:00

">i am getting really frustrated right now because my phone is fucked up.
hasn't been able to send out msgs and call out since dont know when. the telecom is fucking fucked up. arrrrgh! and i missed out something because of this fucking stupid problem. it's the last night :( oh what what what am i doing.. what have i missed out? i can't tell you. i dont even know what i am doing. dammit. i shouldn't do this. but the more i can't the more i want it. shit. this is unhealthy. shit... arhh. what really happened recently? how come everything seems so fast and so much all of a sudden. i can't handle it i can't handle it. i need to hear it. i want to hear that voice. dammit. and my phone is fucked up! dammitttttt. what should i do. i shouldn't keep waiting and waiting for this. the chance is really really little. i should go to bed. and why am i still not calm ok sleep.. sleep.. sleeeeep ........ PLEASE. all good now :)

thistimelastyear.

2010-01-07T01:28:00.005+08:00

was just looking at photos that were tagged in fb, and found this one.
numbers of stories can be told from the photo, funny how people have changed huh? just one year. one year. the whole network of people has been turned over like tsunami, people have been disconnected, connected, complicated, joined, split, unfriended.......you name it.

looking back, that was the best time and happiest time of uni, every pieces were in the right place, who would know it ended up like this...

now, graduated, back to hk, when everything has to be started over again... good thing? bad thing? who knows. it may be good thing when you can finally give up the past, or it's a bad thing when you HAVE TO give up the past. sigh.... life sucks, as always.

oh well... there's no where like home.
glad to be home.

2010.

2010-01-01T14:02:00.002+08:00

another year||2010
do you ever realise its actually quite meaningless to spend every year's last seconds counting numbers? or is it more meaningless when you set all these devotions for new year and you break it right away? the start of the year is me getting so intoxicated, flash-backs of me squatting in the toilet, throwing up next to a crowd of people, passing out in the lift, more puking in the taxi and finally losing my phone. what a great start right?
while i was moaning over my lost phone, i was thinking, maybe its not such a bad thing. first, i can get a new phone. second, i lost all my contacts and messages but maybe there should be someone i shouldn't find anymore, and old messages/ memories should be lost forever. there shall be a fresh start for everything, and it toughen up my other devotion that i have to myself.
these are the best reasons i can find to excuse myself...

another challenge of the new year||family
communication problems, future confusion, new stage adaptation.... ect. and now i have to deal with my family problems with other people. what the hell. i really don't wanna deal with it today. at least don't ruin my mood for tonight's big night.

change|| this is feeling hell
shall really have serious changes for this year. and the major first one is to avoid and prevent all embarrassing/ awkward/ damn ugly moments to happen again. the rest of the list, shall leave it to myself.

have a good night.
chao

winter love

2009-12-26T23:03:00.004+08:00

merrry christmas everyone :)
hope you all have a joyful holiday!

recent words||
if someone's important to you
there's no way no one no reason to stop you from finding

i wish i can dance.

2009-12-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

i just remember sometime ago you said she dances very well, and you think it's hot.
it makes me cry even harder.

at the time i didnt really care cause you didnt know her. i should've alerted.

每次退後又錯過你的世界一點。

2009-12-10T21:20:00.001+08:00

在思念的空間裡不斷徘徊
那距離卻越明顯
持續的提醒我　現實的界限
在想像的空間裡不斷徘徊
那畫面永遠明確
就算是閉上眼　也無法否決
我怎麼會讓自己捨身不斷涉險
你怎麼會對我的心不斷的拒絕
愛失去你的包圍
每次退後又錯過你的世界一點
我沒有辦法清醒應付新的對決
你卻輕易讓我的心委屈到極限
愛有了你　卻失去了我的一切
衡量你的心直線到我之間
沒有跨越的機會

+/-

2009-12-08T03:01:00.002+08:00

sometimes, or maybe most of the time,
life is stuck,
you might be at the cross section thinking...

should i + changes?
should i + value?
should i + answers?
should i + effort?

++++++ makes people tired, very very tired indeed.
why don't just -
- the past

= sunny day. clear sky.

although it needs huge courage to cop with the sun shine sometimes.

this is what yu did...

.

the first day of the end of world year.

The dark covers me and I cannot run now.

kingai.

夢還沒有完 願還沒有圓。

dontsaytheword.

happybirthdaytome.

Bahh

and so it is.

If not now. When?

it'snothelping.

I'm ok.

be it

WTF

was.

$

cannonball.

seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.

重滔覆轍

若無其事原來是最狠的報復

往事沒言語 在皮下呼吸

big big girl

skyisblue.

resolution.

silentalltheseyears.

我永遠最愛同一次。

阿怪。

i wanna get my helmet back.

time didnt prove anything.

givemealittlehint.

falling. hanging.

shadow.

i am.

whereonearth.

my mind is in such chaos.

"我今日有咩唔同?"

selfish ape doesn't need too many friends.

.qi.ji.

Sretsis♥

鄭麗嫦 vs Jimmy仔

iwannascream.

MONSTER.

spotted.

還怎能無償地拼命愛別人。

不受歡迎。

外面的世界。

nothing's fair.

13.4 doesnt seem like a good day.

exhausted. but life goes on.

it feels like that empty chair.

i wouldn't need you.

i ♥ dadi, mami & little dog.

一秒感動 也可以忘掉舊刺痛

a thousand reasons why.

有超能膠嗎？

笑口早:)

Let's start from here.

+

蛹。

share.

notagame.

擁抱這分鐘。

anticipating iphone4G.

so i don't cry.

老虎仔快樂:)

青春無悔?

a letter to steve jobs.

真的不是。

20.

i need a painkiller that WORKS.

arrrgh.

thistimelastyear.

2010.

winter love

i wish i can dance.

每次退後又錯過你的世界一點。

+/-

夢還沒有完願還沒有圓。

往事沒言語在皮下呼吸

一秒感動也可以忘掉舊刺痛